


Only Human after all

by LadyMaeve1978



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:49:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23761852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMaeve1978/pseuds/LadyMaeve1978
Summary: After Hawke is left in the Fade, she reflects on her time with Varric Tethras while she tries to find a way out. This is a humorous Hawke who uses humor to hide her self-worth issues. Several DAII flashbacks, slightly tweaked for this story. This is my first fan-fic, so I apologize now for any inconsistencies. All characters are property of Bioware.
Relationships: Female Hawke/Varric Tethras
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Only Human after all

Chapter 1 

_Thump-Thump!_  
_Thump-Thump!_

The pain was the first thing she became aware of; it felt like lightning bolts, pulsing in time to her heartbeat. 

_Death isn’t supposed to hurt….is it?_

She cracked open one eye and quickly closed it again as the greenish tint of the world told her what she had hoped was some drug induced dream.  
She was still in the fade.

_Well….shit._

Hawke took a deep breath, then hissed at the sharp pain in her side. She opened both her eyes this time and raised herself up with a shaky arm. The smell of ozone still lingered in the air from the rift Lavellan had closed. Nearby, a large inky black pool was all that was left of the Nightmare.

_Good – at least something positive happened today._

All around her, the marks of the vicious battle were evident. Ice still coated the rocks from Dorian’s spells, while chunks of rocks were scattered about, broken by the massive legs of the spider-thing as it tried to impale her friends. She shivered at the memory.

Her eyes rested on a dull gleam in the sand a few feet away. With a lurch of her stomach, she realized she was looking at Bianca’s stock. 

*****

_“Another one for me! How many do you have Hawke?”_

_Hawke glanced over as she beheaded another shade and rolled her eyes._

_“Nice to see that you haven’t changed much….old man.”_

_“Old! The Hawke I used to know would have had this battle over by now. You’re getting slow…”_

_Hawke grinned as she turned on the Fear Demon and began hacking away at it as spells and bolts flew over her head. The Inquisitor joined her and together they brought down the demon._

_“As much as I enjoy watching the infamous Hawke and Varric at work, I would rather be on the other side of that rift right now. Let’s move before anything else asks for a dance!” The Inquisitor wiped her blade against her leg as she turned towards the rift they had been making their way towards._

_With a massive screech, the massive Nightmare spider suddenly appeared in front of them, effectively blocking the path to the rift._

_“Fuck! You wouldn’t consider dying, would you?” Hawke brought her sword back up and charged one of the spider’s legs. Behind her, she heard the Inquisitor cursing and then shouting out instructions to the rest of the team. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alistair and the Inquisitor spread out and go after other legs. A rotation of frost and fire dotted the body of the spider from Dorian’s spells, while Varric’s bolts rained against the carapace, occasionally finding a weak joint to lodge in. Cole flickered in and out of existence as he danced around the legs, his daggers flying._

_With a massive roar, the spider kicked out several of its legs, sending most of the party flying. Hawke hit a rock outcropping, pain shooting across her body. The world went fuzzy at the edges and something warm trickled down the side of her face._

_“Hawke!!! Come here, you bastard!” Varric shouted as he flipped from his normal bolts to his explosive tipped ones. As each bolt hit the massive spider, it was thrown back, cracks now appearing in its carapace._

_“Varric! No! Move, you stupid son of a bitch!” Hawke screamed. She staggered to her feet, raising her sword. The world slowed down as she ran towards the spider, hoping to get its attention. In horror, she saw the spider rear up and jump, landing on Varric as he reloaded Bianca. Its leg lodged in Varric’c chest and he screamed out in pain as blood sprayed out of his chest. The spider lifted its leg, Varric still attached to the cruel barbs and shook. His body went flying through the air, hitting one of the rock outcropping before falling to the ground, limp as a rag doll._

_“No, no, NO! Maker NO!” Hawke screamed as she ran under the spider, shoving her sword into the cracks left by Varric’s bolts. She was dimly aware that the others were doubling down on their attacks. All she could see was Varric, lying still in an ever growing pool of blood. The massive spider turned towards Alistair and the Inquisitor and Hawke made her way to Varric’s side. His eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow and ragged. The blood continued to spurt out of his chest, in time to his heart beat. With shaking hands, she grasped at her belt, locating the last healing potion she had._

_“You OWE me for dragging me into this fucking nightmare, dwarf! You are NOT getting out of this so easy!” Tears blurred her vision, but she was able to pull the stopper out of the vial with her teeth and poured it into Varric’s mouth. “Come on, dammit! This shit tastes better than the swill they serve at the Hanged Man; you WILL fucking drink it!” Although his eyes stayed closed, his throat moved, swallowing the potion. Hawke reached under her armor and tore at her tunic. As she removed ragged sections, she packed them against the hole in his chest. The bleeding had slowed down, but it wasn’t enough. His normally sun kissed skin was pale and his breathing was still ragged._

_She looked up at the battle – although the Nightmare had been weakened by the onslaught of blade, bolt and magic, it was still upright. The rest of the group was exhausted and their reserves were nearly spent. Blood now caked the Inquisitor, her face tight with pain. Beside her, Alistair was using his sword in his opposite hand, his right arm hanging useless at his side. Cole was on his knees, coughing up blood. Dorian was coated in sweat, a pile of empty lyrium vials laid shattered at his feet. With dawning horror, she realized that the odds of them making it out were quickly flickering out._

_She looked down at Varric in her arms and cupped the side of his face. All those wasted years…._  
_Then, with a sudden internal calm, she knew what had to be done._

_“Well, you always said that the best hero stories are when the hero falls in battle. You can at last finish your book.” With a moan of pain, she stood up, Varric in her arms. “Maker! You really need to lay off of the ale!” She staggered towards Dorian._

_“How is he?” Dorian wiped the sweat out of his eyes and turned toward her._

_“Not good. I got a healing potion down him, but I’m all out. He needs to get to a healer.”_

_“We’ll ALL need a healer when this is done – I’m much too pretty to die.”_

_“Dorian? Please take care of him for me.” She laid Varric at Dorian’s feet. Hawke leaned in and kissed Varric gently on his lips, tears blurring her vision. “Our first kiss and he isn’t even awake for it – figures.”_

_“Hawke?” Dorian’s eyes widened with horror. “Tell me you aren’t about to do something totally selfless.”_  
_Hawke just grinned, hefted her sword and turned towards the battle._

_Cole saw her from his position on the ground, nodded, then reappeared at Dorian’s side. Between Dorian and Cole, they lifted Varric between the two of them and started dragging him towards the rift. Hawke ran up to the Inquisitor and Alistair as they dodged the spider’s legs thundering against the ground._

_“We are fucked if we continue to try to fight this thing!” Hawke yelled as she joined the combat._

_“We need to clear a path!” Alistair shouted as he barely dodged an incoming leg._

_“Go! I’ll cover you!” Hawke yelled as she knocked away another leg._

_“No. You were right. The Grey Wardens caused this. A warden must-“ Alistair was thown back, too exhausted to dodge the second leg of the spider as it swung around._

_“A warden must help them rebuild! That’s your job! You have Lady Cousland waiting on you – I have nothing to go back to. My story is done! Corypheus is mine!” Hawke raised her sword with both hands and with a scream, ran towards the Nightmare. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the Inquistior half lift Alistair off of the ground and began dragging him towards the rift. Dorian and Cole were already there, Varric hanging between them._

_She turned her focus back onto the Nightmare._

_“Spiders. Always the Maker-damned spiders….”_

*****

With a shake of her head, she dispelled the rest of the memory and crawled towards Bianca’s stock. She looked like she was in one piece, but only one way to tell….Hawke reached out with shaking hands and picked Bianca up. She quickly dropped her as the weight of the crossbow sent shooting pains across the right side of her chest. Hawke hissed in pain and wrapped her arms around herself, willing herself not to throw up all over Bianca. 

_Varric would not be happy if I defiled Bianca…._

Once the pain settled down, she quickly took a second look around the area, hoping she hadn’t gathered any attention from other inhabitants of the fade. All she could hear was the hollow sound of the wind that occasionally wrapped its way around the rocks. Hawke began emptying her pockets, hoping she had overlooked something – anything – that could help her deal with the pain. It would be just her luck to survive the Nightmare, only to pass out and be eaten by some random shade in the Fade. 

_Water canteen, dried fruit and meat, daggers….elfroot! Thank the Maker!_ Hawke quickly took a piece and stuffed it into her mouth and started chewing. Within a few minutes, the pain lessened to the point where she felt she could move without seizing up. She eyeballed Bianca again. 

“Well, it looks like it’s Ladies Night in the Fade.” She leaned over Bianca and began looking over the crossbow without picking it up. Other than a few new scratches in the stock and a large score in the metal bar, she looked to be intact. 

“Hmm….how am I going to be able to carry you. I’m certainly not leaving you here! Varric would never let me hear the end of it!” She started to chuck, only to end on a sob as she remembered the blood and massive hole in his chest. Hawke shook her head violently.

“NO! I’ve got to think positive! He’s going to survive! He’s too pickled from years of ale to be brought down by something as simple as a stupid spider!” This time, when she picked up Bianca, she was ready for her heft. No wonder Varric was so muscular – Hawke had not truly appreciated how strong Varric was until this moment. She thought she was muscular from swinging her broadsword all of these years, but that was nothing compared to the amount of muscle she would need to handle Bianca like Varric does….did….well, shit…

“I don’t have a harness for you, but let’s see what I can do to make your travel more comfortable.” Hawke unbuckled her sword scabbard from her back and laid it next to all of the other items she had pulled from her pockets. She tapped her finger against her lips, then with an exclamation, she pulled her belt off of her pants and began to cut it up into smaller sections. She cut the threads on the sides of her scabbard in several locations and threaded the belt pieces through. She searched the battlefield until she found several of Varric’s bolts, broken from hitting the carapace of the spider. She used her dagger to pry the metal pieces apart and then hammered them into the leather of the belt pieces.

“Okay, Bianca…let’s see if you fit….” Hawke started securing Bianca against the modified scabbard, occasionally swearing and cutting pieces off her already torn tunic to give Bianca additional support. Once she got Bianca attached to the scabbard, she stood up and swung the crossbow onto her back. She staggered under the weight, but the makeshift straps seemed to be holding and Bianca was staying up. Maker – how was Varric ever able to run under this weight!?! 

Her right side throbbed from the pull on her back, but the elfroot she was chewing on helped make the pain manageable. With a sigh, she looked down at her feet at the miscellaneous items that she forgot to tuck back into her pockets in her haste to try the makeshift harness out. 

Finally, she was ready to move on. Hopefully, there are other rifts still open elsewhere in the Fade that she could jump through to get back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title and chapters come from "Human" by Rag'N'Bone Man. The song just speaks to me....


End file.
